‽istis ponders empathy (weekending November 4th
2023)
This week ‽istis has been pondering and writing about empathy
while listening to the radio and watching the television; reading the news and
the ‘X’s (though once upon a time they used to be ‘tweets’, chirruping joyful
with humour - or squawking shrill with venom); recalling Obama’s suggestion
that ‘we should talk more about our empathy deficit’[i],
not least perhaps in the debate about ‘rights’ and ‘wrongs’ and in the darkness
of utterly appalling actions and (‽istis would suggest) a pitiful, pathetic and
tragic failure of politics and of us all - in the ‘holy land’ or in Ukraine and
in the 112 other ‘today’s armed conflicts’[ii]…
So
much to consider.
Some
contested definitions – what is empathy?; what could be the factors that may
influence anyone’s capacity or level of empathy, is it static or
situation-dependent?; what might be the boundaries between people or peoples? Is
empathy always projection or inference? Is ‘sympathetic imagination’[iii]
a better phrase?
Some
particular points stand out from the various literature and research that ‽istis
has come across. A few citations/quotations
might be a helpful way to open a door onto what ‽istis thinks is a very important,
even vital idea.
‽ ‘How selfish soever man[iv]
may be supposed, there are evidently some principles in his nature, which
interest him in the fortune of others, and render their happiness necessary to
him, though he derives nothing from it except the pleasure of seeing it. Of
this kind is pity or compassion, the emotion which we feel for the misery of
others, when we see it, or are made to conceive it in a lively manner.’ Adam
Smith[v]
‽ A book by Maia Szalavitz’s and
Bruce Perry ‘Born for Love – why empathy
is essential and endangered’ (2010) would certainly be on ‽istis’ list of
recommended reading. There is a quotation from Albert Einstein right at the
front of the book:
‘A human being is a part of a whole… (but) he[vi] experiences himself, his
thoughts and feelings as something separated from the rest… This delusion is a kind of prison for us,
restricting us to our personal desires and to affection for a few persons
nearest to us. Our task must be to free ourselves from this prison by widening
our circle of compassion to embrace all living creatures and the whole of
nature in its beauty.’
‽ ‘High-quality empathy is only possible when we understand
something of the other person’s unique history, personality, social context and
cultural milieu. The ability to read the other’s behaviour, expressions and
body language takes more than simple, albeit sensitive, observation. It also
requires that we know something of the other’s culture and psychosocial makeup.’
David Howe.[vii]
‽ Roman Krznaric in ‘Empathy. Why it matters, and how to get it’[viii]
suggests that we may be
‘wired for empathy’ but asserts that ‘we still need to think about how we are
going to bring our circuits to life’ and asks: ‘How can we expand our empathic
potential?’ The structure of the book then explores six habits that cited
research suggests highly empathic people have in common; attitudes and daily
practices that ‘spark the empathic circuitry’:
Habit 1: Switch on your
empathic brain. Shifting our mental frameworks to recognise that empathy is
at the core of human nature, and that it can be expanded throughout our lives.
Habit 2: Make the
imaginative leap. Making a conscious effort to step into other people’s
shoes – including our ‘enemies’ – to acknowledge their humanity, individuality
and perspectives.
Habit 3: Seek
experiential adventures. Exploring lives and cultures that contrast with
our own through direct immersion, empathic journeying, and social cooperation.
Habit 4: Practise the
art of conversation. Fostering curiosity about strangers and radical
listening, and taking off our emotional masks.
Habit 5: Travel in your
armchair. Transporting ourselves into other people’s minds with the help of
art. Literature, film and inline social networks.
Habit 6: Inspire a
revolution. Generating empathy on a mass scale to create social change, and
extending our empathy skills to embrace the natural world.
‘The
challenge we face, if we hope to fully realise the homo empathicus that lies within each of us, is to develop these
six habits in ourselves as best we can…’[ix]
‽istis
has commented on similar matters in previous blogs, notably Bruce Perry’s ‘Six
Core Strengths’ – proposed as important building blocks in children and young
people’s social development (blog: July 2020[x])
and various ponderings on the theme of the ‘Golden Rule’ and the associated
contemporary ‘Charter for Compassion’ ideas and movement (blogs: April 2021[xi],
August 2023[xii]). But when, oh when might
these building blocks create the foundations of a better world and when might
compassion no longer need a charter for it has become a prevailing and natural living
script…?
Some concluding ponderings, this weekending:
·
‽istis
wonders what could be the consequences of a deluging, climate-crisis-at-its
worst flood[xiii] of empathy in and
around troubled and desperate places across the world - in the hearts and minds
and behaviours of those involved - in the hearts and minds and behaviours of
those who ’support’ one side or another at every level of power.[xiv]
Might it lead to a seeing-every-side stalemate – and might that not indeed be
better? A ceasefire, a ‘pause’ - incidentally, by accident, because all say “here
I stand, with you, all of you, I can do no other.”[xv]
·
An assertion
from Maia Szalavitz and Bruce Perry (p.322): ‘Will increasing empathy solve all the
world’s problems? Of course not. But few of them can be solved without it.’
·
Last
words come from a project and a book of ‘poems’ on the theme of ‘empathy’; some
selected lines[xvi]:
6) An
encounter, a contact, an ‘only connect’
11) Love: more than the moon and the stars
Good
believed; comfort and hope shared
This
broken world will heal in the end; hearts will mend
15)
But peels a layer – deep within, raw
For
you, for us, for all – for ever?
36)
For ‘do good: we will meet one another there.’
41)
And the war that follows the war to end all wars
Takes
you away
Took
them away
Takes
me away from joke and banter
Chord
and discord and accord and concord
To the
piercing point.
46)
Divided – ruled over – we make
Our
own ways until the tower is
Out of
sight and sound – the babble
Muted,
I hear you no longer
I understand
you less. We and thee…
51)
Linking us – this particular
‘We’ –
unique among an
Infinite-seeming,
beyond number.
And
so, on the beat
Or in
the space between,
Past,
present and future
‘We’
are joined.
g)
When yous become us, become we!
26)
And perhaps – in this place
Despite
the space
We are
in the zone
The
proximal zone
…just
enough Venn-overlap
Of
meaning, understanding,
Perception,
thought, behaviour
And
feeling to meet…
Or
stay apart.
to stay apart… Or to
meet.
©‽istis
NB: further reflections and comments linked to this week’s theme
and past blog entries to be found on X/Twitter: replies, retweets (which don’t
necessarily indicate approval, sometimes the very opposite!) and ‘likes’:
@Pistis_wonders. X/Twitter ‘follows’ and respectful comment and dialogue
welcome...
[i] In
run up to the 2008 USA presidential election. Cited in Empathy. Why it
matters, and how to get it’ by Roman Krznaric (2015) p. xvii
[ii] https://geneva-academy.ch/galleries/today-s-armed-conflicts#:~:text=This%20is%2C%20in%20numbers%2C%20the,Turkey%2C%20Yemen%20and%20Western%20Sahara.
The Geneva Academy: ‘TODAY’S ARMED CONFLICTS Our Rule of Law in Armed Conflict
Online Portal (RULAC) classifies all situations of armed violence that amount
to an armed conflict under international humanitarian law.’ ‽istis thinks that this must be a
portal to places of the most appalling brutality, death, destruction, denial of
rights and the very, very worst of us all…
[iii]
After Adam Smith ‘The Theory of Moral Sentiments’ 1759
[iv] Smith
used ‘men’, ‘him’, ‘he’ and ‘fellow’ – as in ‘fellow-feeling’, presumably as common
generic terms for ‘everyone’ as was likely to be common practice at the time.
What this apparently unconscious patriarchal and hegemonic masculinisation of
terms might also represent with regards to wider attitudes and behaviour, the minoritisation
and inclusion/exclusion of women in theory and practice is difficult to know,
but important to consider, ‽istis suggests.
[v] Smith,
op cit: Part 1, Section 1, Chapter 1, paragraph 1
[vi] ‘He’
– as Smith, so Einstein (see ref, iv, above)
[vii]
David Howe: ‘Empathy. What it is and why it matters.’ 2013 p.72
[viii]
First published 2014
[ix] p.205
and homo empathicus, stands in
contrast to homo self-centricus
[xii] https://pistisrec.blogspot.com/2023/08/pistis-ponders-on-and-on-parliament-of.html
- a lengthy one, apologies!
[xiii]
Of Biblical proportions – when, allegedly, there seemed to be evidence of an
interventionist God, albeit one that destroyed all humanity save for one
family, all animal life save for reproducing pairs of everything (but no
unicorn!!)
[xiv]
And ‽istis has ‘blogged’ before:
‘What if foreign policy was formed and informed by
Presidents and generals thinking as if it were their own cities and towns and
schools and hospitals and shops and homes that were being bombed, as if it was
their grandparents and parents and partners and children (or even themselves)
who were being killed or raped, or who were hiding terrified, or who were
fleeing; or who were left lying dead, unburied in the streets of their home
town; or who were left scarred or traumatised…‽’ https://pistisrec.blogspot.com/2022/05/pistis-reclaims-as-if-weekending-may.html
[xv]
To possibly paraphrase Martin Luther…?
[xvi] With
the numbers representing the poem from a collection, one a week for a year’s
project, plus some miscellaneous!
