‽istis
reclaims Election Interviews (the results show - or no show) [i]
(weekending 7th December 2019)
‽istis woke with a start – still sitting on the sofa, in the wee small hours when even the 24hr news channel was longing for the night to end and the headlines and the weather to change.
Uncharacteristically clear-headed, ‽istis tallied the points from the dream interview, fresh in the memory:
‽ perhaps at least 50,
from a maximum +10 points for each of 5 answers that addressed the specific
question asked: directly, immediately, succinctly and with fact-checked content
‽ possibly 3 examples of
a clear and genuine apology for sins of omission or commission, errors of
judgement personal and professional, past or present – and not just an apology if
anyone had felt aggrieved or taken offence (+21 points total)
‽ maybe no examples
at all of:
· exaggerating
and rubbishing the policies/behaviour/ record/personality of either opponents, erstwhile
colleagues or predecessors (-5 points for each)
· three-word
slogans that could mean everything but may mean anything or even nothing (-10
points)
· repetition
(-3 points)
· repetition,
again (-3 2 points)
· deployment
of the word ‘look’ to suggest that finally something genuine might about to be
said (-2 points)
· the
phrase: ‘if you’ll just let me finish!’ or variation (-5 points; x 2 if
preceded by a prepared speech on another topic related only tenuously to the
question; x 4 if preceded by a prepared speech on another topic altogether)
· repetition,
yet again (-3 3 points)
· hyperbole:
about the cost of others’ proposals or the benefit of one’s own (-6 points)
· repetition,
deployed cynically simply to take up a significant proportion of a finite
interview slot and thereby limit other questions or discussion of other topics
(-3 4 points)
· just
continuing to talk, head down ‘I will make this point’, going on and on and on
and on whether anyone else is talking or not; whether anyone is listening or
not (-8 points)
‽istis even contemplated the rare award of bonus points for an absence of hubris, tone of patronising assertion, or effort to sound in touch through references from popular culture. Mind you, ‽istis thought, complete absence: -50 points!
The news channel jingle heralded the dawn of a new day and ‽istis realised that indeed it had been a dream interview!
© Pistis
[i] NB: this may also be played as a
drinking game: either negatively (with a commonly available and
multi-form psychoactive
substance with dependence-producing properties that has been widely used in
many cultures for centuries; the harmful use of which causes a large disease,
social and economic burden in societies and can result in harm to other people,
such as family members, friends, co-workers and strangers (https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/alcohol);
or positively (with the milk of human kindness, or equivalent dairy-free
alternative).
