‽istis reclaims resilience and recovery (weekending December 12th 2020)
This week ‽istis wonders at…
‽ the potential legacy of neglect,
abuse, toxic stress, needs not met (where the how and why have been long lost)
‽ the potential effects of chronic
illness, of cognitive or learning difficulties, of neuro-diversity, of disablement
‽ the potential
impact of a lack of fundamental secure trust-worthy relationships, of a safe
haven, of a safe base
…and how they may all possibly mix and interact to create
a ‘now’ of sometimes overwhelming feelings and thoughts – and a ‘right now’ of sometimes
overwhelming behaviours. And the balance may be tipped far, far from resilience
into extreme vulnerability…
And yet, and yet - ‽istis looks afresh at
words from a report, from a book, from a project:
·
‘In general, children who have been abused or
neglected need nurturance, stability, predictability, understanding, and
support. They may need frequent, repeated experiences of these kinds to begin
altering their view of the world from one that is uncaring or hostile to one
that is caring and supportive… And the longer a child lived in an abusive or
neglectful environment, the harder it will be to convince the child’s brain
that the world can change.’[i]
‘..change continues
throughout the life-cycle so that changes for better or for worse are always
possible. It is this continuing potential for change that means that at no time
of life is a person invulnerable to every possible adversity and also that at
no time of life is a person impermeable to favourable influence’[ii]
·
I have, I am, I can[iii]:
I HAVE: People around me I trust
and who love me, no matter what. People who set limits for me so I know when to
stop before there is danger or trouble. People who show me how to do things
right by the way they do things. People who want me to learn to do things on my
own. People who help me when I am sick, in danger or need to learn.
I AM: A person people can like and
love. Glad to do nice things for others and show my concern. Respectful of
myself and others. Willing to be responsible for what I do. Sure things will be
all right.
I CAN: Talk to others about things
that frighten me or bother me. Find ways to solve problems that I face. Control
myself when I feel like doing something not right or dangerous. Figure out when
it is a good time to talk to someone or to take action. Find someone to help me
when I need it.
…and hopes!
© Pistis
NB: further reflections and comments linked to this
week’s theme and past blog
entries to be found on Twitter: replies, retweets (which don’t necessarily
indicate approval, sometimes the very opposite!) and ‘likes’:
@Pistis50264984
[i] Understanding
the Effects of Maltreatment on Brain Development CWIG 2009
[ii]
John Bowlby: A Secure Base 2005 p.154
[iii] Microsoft Word
- P&R_08_Resilience.doc (bibalex.org) A guide to promoting
resilience in children:
strengthening the human spirit E.Grotberg
